Day 15: Name three strengths you have as an educator.

Let's be honest. Teachers are rarely the kind to talk about how great they are. I've been writing, thinking, mulling over, and revising this post for almost two weeks now. It is not because I am having trouble narrowing down a long list of pats-on-the-back down to three. I have found different ways of identifying strengths while at the same time explaining why those qualities are also weaknesses. Needless to say, this prompt has made me very uncomfortable.

And then last week, tragedy struck both at school and in my family. 

I won't go into the detail about the horrific crime that was committed against a family who resides in the school district I work in. (You can read about it here.)  What I will say is that it demonstrated what kind of true strength educators show when dealing with a crisis such as this. Teachers at the elementary school that the young brothers attended surrounded their students with love and support. Going so far as to ride the school bus home and to school to make them feel safe. Social workers and counselors from around the district went to the school to ensure that staff and students had the ability to navigate these waters that no community thinks they will have to enter. The strength of my colleagues, while not surprising, was inspiring. I know that it is our strength as educators that will see us through this very sad chapter in our lives. It is our strength that will allow us to care for our students, to listen to them, and find a way to continue on learning and working together.

During this horrific week at school, my family was dealing with a terrible loss. My husband's uncle had recently gotten engaged to his girlfriend, whom the family loved very much. Tragically, she was taken too soon in a bicycle accident. My husband and I traveled to Massachusetts to be with family and mourn the loss of Pam.  The funeral was heartbreaking as person after person got up to speak to the wonderful woman they had loved. I learned that Pam was also a teacher working with students learning English. As I sat there and listened to the stories that spoke to Pam's character and strength, I couldn't help but think that the qualities her family loved her for were ones that demonstrates the strengths of an educator. And as each of her loved ones spoke they echoed the qualities that Pam will always be remembered for: her sense of humor, her kindness, and her ability to let the people she cared for know that she loved them.

 I thought, what three better strengths for an educator to possess? 

Humor, kindness and love should come before any curriculum. Any test. They are the things that bond us not just as teachers and students but as human beings. It was what was seeing my own colleagues through the grief of the past week. It speaks to the humanity of our profession and what our true duty and calling is all about.  I can only hope that my students view these three qualities as strengths in me.  I try hard every day to incorporate them into the work that we do together.

Day 14: What is feedback for learning, and how well do you give it to students?

This is always my biggest weakness as a teacher. When it comes to reading and writing, the time that is required to give that one-on-one feedback to 7th graders that they need is daunting. Due to lack of time and large classes, you have to get creative in finding ways to work it in. I think feedback for learning means not just communicating to a student what they did well or what they are struggling with but to then allow time for students to take that feedback and put it into practice. I believe feedback should be part of the learning process and not something that is given at the end. Students crave feedback as they are figuring things out and need guidance along the way. They appreciate the chance to utilize that feedback before they earn a grade and are surprised by what they needed to work more on.

Instead of listing all the various ways I've given feedback in the past, I'll focus instead on the ways this year  I plan to give it to my 111 students. This year will be a challenge but knowing what I know about what has worked in the past, I know that I must make the time for it. Lord knows the time won't magically be added to my teaching day. In order to make the time, I have tried to pare down some of the work my kids will create to not only give me time to respond but to give them time to rework and revise.

The first tool I am using more is my electronic grade book. We are now able to write notes next to assignments to clarify a grade. I think this feedback will not inform my students but hopefully will empower parents to see what literacy skills they might be able to work on at home. This could be through conversation about movie or encouraging their writing at home.

I plan on continuing to use Google Docs with my students, which allows for written comments to be added to a piece of writing. In addition to this, I am going to try the app Kaizena. Much like a Google Doc comment, Kaizena allows you to leave feedback on a draft but in the form of voice recorded comments. I hope that this won't be too time consuming, but I think it will benefit my students to hear me explain something versus reading my explanation.  We'll see!

At the end of the day, it is in having a conversation with a student that I think ultimately benefits a student in making progress. While I feel I struggle with giving feedback, I know that I am doing the best I can. This might never be something I truly master, but it is the part of my craft that I constantly reflect and work on each year.

Day 13: Name the 5 top edtech tools you use on a consistent basis, and rank them by their perceived (by you) effectiveness.

#5. Elmo

I will never forget the first time I heard about an Elmo or document camera. It was truly a turning point in educational technology. It was the first step towards creating a tool that allowed a teacher to engage students in a new way. Students could now project their work onto a screen and examine their thinking, share their writing or ask the class for help. They could share a passage from their book and point directly to the language they wanted to speak to. Not to mention, no more overhead projector and transparencies...woo hoo! I thought I would never have access to such a useful and exciting innovation. When I returned from a two-year maternity leave though, I came back to a classroom that was not only equipped with an Elmo but an interactive white board as well. In just two short years, the Elmo was being bypassed by other tools. While I don't use my Elmo as much as I had first imagined, it's benefits are still impacting my teaching and the way I am able to engage my students to share their thinking and work.

#4. Cell Phones

While I know cell phones are still viewed with trepidation in the classroom, especially in middle school, I have tried to demystify them for my students. When you tell a student that they have to keep them in their locker or not even allow them in the building, they are devalued and students aren't asked to maximize the potential that they hold.  We use our phones to take photos of our work, research a question, email reminders, write a blog post or upload media to WeVideo. They are time savers not the time wasters they have been cast as. And when a student commits a social cell phone faux pas, I use it as a teachable moment in using that powerful tool in a responsible and respectful manner.  Lord knows, they aren't going anywhere. 

#3. Chromebooks

I haven't had my Chromebooks (CBs) for a full semester and they are already an integral part of my teaching. Gone are the days of scheduling precious computer lab time or feeling guilt over how many days I had reserved the laptop carts. What a difference it is not having that one layer of stress (in a profession that has too many layers and new ones continued to be added) in my day. Being able to integrate technology and give students the time they need to work in class instead of outside is a relief for us all. It allows for more time for instruction on how to use a particular application, troubleshoot, and then go beyond the basics. My mantra with students is that, "You can't break Google." This a line used to encourage their curiosity and asks them to delve into the apps we use without my direction. Some would but lots wouldn't. Having CBs allows us to explore a bit more together in order to get them comfortable enough to venture on their own. I'm hoping to see a big difference in having CBs in my room this year, for a full year, and seeing students ease with the technology grow and deepen each quarter.

#2. Google Apps For Education (GAFE)

When I found out that my district had secured a domain using GAFE, I was beyond excited. I and a few other teachers across the district knew the potential they held and begged for the chance to begin using them with our students.  Student accounts were configured, and a page had been turned in my teaching. I used the final days of my summer participating in a digital workshop on using Google Sites to create student portfolio websites. I now had digital tools available to both me and my students that would allow for work that I had only dreamed of. I had two administrators observing that first class in the computer lab as I asked students to log in to their Google accounts. Easier said than done. It took forever troubleshooting, resetting passwords, and translating to my ELL students who didn't speak any English. A more sane teacher would have called it quits right then. But I am a true glutton for punishment.  And as I look back on that frustrating and comical start, I am amazed at how far we have come as a GAFE school district. More and more teachers are taking advantage of the usefulness in asking their kids to utilize these tools. This year, I learned, that our district will be making a move towards all students having a portfolio website. It makes all of the wondering I've done about if the work my students and I have been engaged in has all been worth it evaporate, and I'm pretty proud of what we have accomplished together.

#1. Promethean Board

As I said before, returning to the classroom after a two-year leave, I discovered I would have an interactive white board or Promethean Board. Luckily I had gone to check out my classroom in early August and saw it mounted on my wall. I couldn't believe it. Yes, I was happy to see such a surprise, but I also couldn't figure why no one had bothered to tell me. I soon realized there was no training being planned for me. Geez, I didn't even know how to turn the thing on.  Panicked and determined not to look stupid in front of my students, I was fortunate to find a workshop being offered at another school that was giving a basic training. I signed up and left with so many ideas of how I could engage my students. There are so many bells and whistles (literally and figuratively) that I still feel after three years of teaching with my Promethean Board that I know I have only scratched the surface. But the power of being able to save my students' thinking, pull it up on another day, or show one class' thinking to another (sometimes even different years) has added a depth to my teaching that I could not live without.  It allows us to utilize different forms of media to inspire us and to enrich us. I am sure in 10 years I will have an even more amazing version of it, but for now I can't imagine teaching without it.

Redo

Taking a break from the blogging challenge so that I can think through one of my classes yesterday. It was one of those classes that you wish you could hit pause and then rewind and try again.  There was a small vocal minority of the class that were behaving in a way that, I felt, was rude and disrespectful. And I let them get the better of me.

I have expressed how challenging this year feels. Class sizes are larger and student needs are diverse. I am truly taking it day by day. But yesterday afternoon, I was running low on patience and I allowed my attitude to mirror that of those few students who tried to steer class in a different direction.

I have decided that tomorrow I will offer an apology to that class.  First to the majority who sit patiently, who actively and appropriately engage in class, and who not only have to suffer through when other students act up but when I allow those students to upset me.  Why is it so easy to let a few negative people take hold when the majority are positive?  I want those kids to know that I let them down yesterday, and I am going to not do it again.

I am also going to apologize to those that were acting up.  If I expect them to come to class and respectfully interact and participate, then my losing my cool isn't really the best way to model that.  I am sorry for not being able to handle things differently yesterday.  It won't happen again.

I am also going to offer the kids a chance to let me know how they felt about yesterday. I plan to offer them to write me, anonymously if they so choose, about their role in Wednesday's class and what they plan on doing differently. I will begin by offering up my own mea culpa, but I am not taking the full blame.  Everyone one of us who was there contributed to the attitude of the class. From those that chose to not act appropriately to those who gave attention to the negative behavior and, knowingly or not, reinforced and made it acceptable by laughing and smiling.  We all have to commit to making a change or nothing will.

This might sound like a simple discipline issue but for me it is more than that.  I structure my class in ways to try to create a safe community where we can talk and listen to each other. Yesterday was not that. It was uncomfortable and at times disrespectful. At so early a point in the year, I need to see if we can get back on track or else that class might have to look very different from my other three. I don't want to see that happen.

I took this as an opportunity to look back at the evaluation my students last year filled out on me and my class.  I was feeling pretty low yesterday and thought maybe my previous kids would give me some insight into how I might need to make things better this year. I found a lot of great constructive criticism that I had already realized in my own reflection on last year.  The trouble was that the very structures they praised, like the freedom to choose things in my class, are the very things that I am now questioning. Am I throwing the baby away with the bathwater if I make changes due to the actions of a few?  I'm hoping for a redo with this group so that we can move forward and learn from the situation instead of having to create restrictions.

Lastly, looking through last year's evaluations was definitely something that helped to buoy my spirits.  And I want to hold on to all the positive things those kids had to say.  One question had them choose one word to describe me as a teacher.  I created this word cloud to save it as a reminder and not get so discouraged:

Day 12: How do you envision your teaching changing over the next five years?

This question has had me thinking and writing for days. The first day I took the glass-half-empty approach. After 10 minutes I had pages in my notebook railing against NCLB to RTTT, APPR to CCSS, King to Cuomo on to high stakes testing and the decimation of school budgets. I imagined how the effects of all these deforms (yes 'de' not 're') are pushing us further back in time. All of the progress we have made in education over the past 30 years is slipping through our fingers. I imagined all of these data-driven decisions leading us back to tracked classes and teaching at Farnsworth Junior High because our middle school philosophy had been eroded over time.

Then I took a deep breath. I downshifted  into trying a glass-half-full perspective. I imagined those who are speaking up and fighting back actually making progress and turning the tide. I see the focus returning to preparing our students to be better citizens and worthwhile human beings and not simply college and career ready. I envisioned allowing students to be co-collaborators in creating curriculum that is designed to allow them to follow their  passions and pursue their curiosity about the world.  I hope we will be tasking them with improving themselves and our world.

And tonight, I realized something else about the next five years. As I drove home with my husband from our daughters' elementary school's open house, I realized that in five years both my daughters will be with me at the middle school (in my class if you ask them today). This realization made me take another deep breath and hold tight to that glass being half full...for them.

Day 11: What is your favorite part of the school day and why?

If you knew the day I had today, you would know how challenging it is to respond to this prompt. But I think that my inability to name a "favorite" part after what felt like a never-ending day, is evidence that teachers can't really have a favorite part. A teacher's day is too unpredictable. The moving parts, that are our students, make feeling totally comfortable in any of it an impossibility. 

I deal in 12-13 year olds. I'm pretty sure it is the most difficult time in life where you are constantly in flux with highs and lows. I never take for granted that I can't count on who is walking through the classroom door. No matter how engaging the lesson, we might be having a bad day.

And so for today, my favorite part is this moment. Sitting on the couch in my sweatshirt and sweatpants typing away this terrible, rotten, no-good very bad day.

Day 10: 5...4...3...2...1

Share 5 random facts about yourself:

1. I am the 6th of 7 children.

2. I won a singing contest...once.

3. I have been in love with Johnny Depp since I was 12 years old.

4. I have given birth twice but have never experienced labor pains.

5. My daughter's name, Jane Beatrice, is the reverse of what my mom wanted to call me (Beatrice Jane...BJ for short!) but my Grandma Beatrice wouldn't allow it.

Share 4 things from your bucket list:

1. Take my daughters to Disney...I have never been.

2. Go to Paris, France, with my daughters when they are adults.

3. Be within 20 feet of JD. (Maybe in Paris?)

4. Become an avid golfer...once again!

Share 3 things you hope for this year, as a "person" or an educator:

1. Sell my house.

2. Buy a new house.

3. Not to go broke doing #1 or #2.

Share 2 things that have made you laugh or cry as an educator:

1. Cry- Saying goodbye to amazing colleagues as they move on or retire.

2. Laugh- My students make me laugh everyday, and I try to make them laugh.

Share one thing you wish more people knew about you:

That while I can overreact and get over zealous at times, that it comes from a place of true caring for my profession, my colleagues and my students. I can't help it...I love what I do.